What Impact Will Moderate or Severe TBI Have on a Person's Life?

Dear Mrs. Anonymous,
The simple fact that you first recognized that there was an unseen issue with your other half, and then was wise enough to gather info about his struggles, (and yours) is indicative of a very rare human quality. True Empathy., and the natural instinct of the "wolf pack mentality" to take care of our beloved pack members. As I am the recipient of not one, not two, but three TBIs and one ABI , spanning 5 decades...,
to me that qualifies you for the Congressional Medal Of Honor at the very least.
We who carry the cross known as TBI or ABI do not require 'understanding'. To 'understand' is to experience it. God forbid ! What we so crave is to be 'believed'. For the overwhelming majority of folks simply do not! The reason for this phenomenon is summed up in one word you used in your commentary. Education.
A philosophy / motto we used in 'Crucible' during my stint in service goes like this...
"Embrace the SUCK !!! Adapt, Overcome and move through it" !
I am still alive because of it. Given the honest effort, which you seem to possess, it will work for you as well ma'am. I'm just not sure how it works.
My family is a large extended family made up of the very young to the old ones. None believe. I was, however, very blessed by Creator to have one individual in my life built of the same metal as you. My late father. Reverend Carl Leroy Rowell. Feb 29, 1935 to April 6, 2020. A giant among men !!! Much like your dear husband, I am a lucky man. He helped me beyond measure.
Dear madam, God knows I utter only the truth when I say to you that my heart and what's left of my mind hurts so terribly for you and your husband... because I believe.
I would so bear the crosses you and he struggle under if only it were possible. Sadly I cannot.
Keep in mind, however, the eighth Psalm. vs 5. You were created " a little lower than the angels." In fact you were created " in His image." Mrs. Anon., You Ma'am are 'Woman'. You are an entity of immense power, intelligence, and possibilities.
You are currently helping him in ways you cannot see yet by simply believing and caring. The rest of the things you can do to help your pack member will readily reveal themselves in time. Like my beloved father... I discern (by your words) that you are
" a giant among women "!
So......." Embrace the Suck !!! Adapt, Overcome, and Move Through It !

God's endless love and blessing be with you dear ma'am.

PS... Tell Mr Anon. that there is an old, southern Louisiana country boy that " has his 6." We're gonna make Bro!

Truly and always.., Victor E. Rowell

You’re not alone, my boyfriend suffers from tbi from over ten years ago. He’s always mentioned it but it’s more apparent and Ofcourse affecting our relationship. I too started reading through this in hopes to find some therapy or counseling that can educate us and help us cope through this. The “ i don’t know” excuse is hard to accept

Yes, the impact spot for me still hurts. It is numb feeling but it very much hurts. The numbness is mostly felt when I touch it or put any pressure on it. I can’t comfortably sleep on my left side so I don’t sleep well. Everything is different since my injury. I forget the most simple things. Or as I talk I spontaneously forget what I was trying to communicate. Loose words I know the definition for etc. I wonder if it will EVER get better. Sometimes it is better then, hours later, I’m falling back in to the rabbit hole. It’s frustrating bc I live alone, no one checks on me, and I live in remote country where there isn’t even a neighbor to check on me. I guess this is my new life. Ugh.

had same injuries from a fall with skull fracture. when I was 70(now77).plus you can grow whole new pathways in your brain called axons at your young age. this is not a recurring condition but don't take a bunch of blood thinners

It breaks my heart to hear that you question whether you did the right thing. My mother suffered a traumatic brain injury on June 25. 2020 and I am often told by others not to lose my faith. Life has been hard for me since, but I always remind myself of what everybody has been telling me, “never lose faith.” So please, have faith in your decision. Because if your selfless heart, your son is no longer suffering. Open your heart and look for signs from him. I promise he is all around you, telling you to thank you for loving him enough to set him free. Keep your faith, and always keep searching for him; because he is right there by your side.

I am so sorry for your loss... A devastating time for you all as a family.
My 27 years old son also had a very severe brain injury November 2018.
He also had his scull removed and his brain swelled... He was In a coma for 2 months maybe longer.
We was told exactly the same.. I often wonder if he forgives me as I fought for him to stay..
I let his body make the decision and it kept going... He does have a tube in his tummy and the trachy was removed some weeks later..
But he can not speak, eat, drink walk.
However he knows who we are, has a sence of humour and astonishingly he can work a motorized wheelchair..
He seems happy and is still in care rehabilitation as they think he has potential... But was it right.. I hope so...
You did what you thought was right but as a parents we always judge ourselves... In any decision.
Bless you and may happy memories feel your aching heart.

So sorry to hear about your son. My heart goes out to you. My husband was in a horrible motorcycle accident in August 2019. He was also in a coma for 6 weeks, suffered a traumatic brain injury and multiple broken bones. He was beginning to open his eyes when the hospital asked if we wanted to take him off the ventilator. Family members pleaded with me to give him more time to recover. I relented. It is now 9 months later. He is in a nursing home. He is conscious but severely mentally compromised. He is unable to walk and has difficulty speaking and swallowing. He is still on a feeding tube and is incontinent. He needs care 24/7. His free spirit that was is gone. While I still love this man dearly our lives since the accident have been an absolute nightmare. I now feel like have done him a great disservice by be condemning him to the "life" he is living. Please find comfort in knowing that your son is at peace and his free spirit still lives on.

My son had a car accident on May 22, 2017. He was thrown from his vehicle and sustained a diffused axonal brain injury. He woke from the coma on day 3, and on day 8 he was able to respond to the commands if thumbs-up, and squeeze hand. The days that followed he was unable to respond to any command. He was paralyzed on one side, had no vision in the eye on the same side, had lung issues due to ribs puncturing his lungs. The neurologists all concurred that he was in a permanent vegetative state. He was 33 yrs old and my only child. He was the love of my life. 46 days after his accident i had to make the hardest decision of my life. My son would never want to live that way. Would any of us? So, i decided that i would take the life sentence of the oain of living without him, rather than give him the life sentence of “ living” that way. You may wonder why i’m writing this almost 3 years since he passed. The answer is simple... i, like you, still wonder if there would have been any hope for him. I googled tbi’s, and found this post. I’m glad i did, because it helps to know i’m not alone. My life is changed forever, but i know deep in my heart i did what he would have wanted. My deeeoest sympathy in the loss of your son.
Danny’s mom- forever 33. If you would like to talk more, i am on fb

Dear Josie I am so sorry about the loss of your son. Your decision had to be heart breaking. I suffered a brain injury 8 years ago....the sixth in a long line of auto accidents. The last time we were rear ended by a semi truck. I can tell you there are still days I wish I had been unplugged. It is a long climb back filled with uncertainty and long hours of hard work. My husband has to care for me...I can’t drive...my eyesight was affected and I don’t process the same as everyone else. My perception is off I may think a shadow or a crack in the cement is really a step. I look pretty funny trying to step up where there is no step. I said all this to tell you that your sons injuries were more serious than mine... I have some quality of life but I never would have wanted to live confined to a wheel chair or never walk again. I use a walker and I’m so slow ...the world looks different I’m different. God only knows the suffering you face but I think you made the right choice. God knows when it’s our time to go home. I will be praying for you and your broken heart. Thank you for sharing your story.

I too had a motorcycle accident 12 years ago and was in intensive care for a month and then rehab for the next 5 months. High-side from ~70 mph with no helmet but fortunately was thrown 50 feet over the curb and into the dirt. I was diagnosed with a moderate to severe TBL with brain bleeding. I have no memory of the event and too lost several months of memory. For a couple of weeks, I did not know my age, my wife’s name, etc. Amazingly, after six months I was able to return to my job managing a technology department. It is interesting to hear of your mention of paresthesia as I still have the same issue with my left leg with the worse symptoms in my foot with a slight decrease in symptoms moving up. For me, it mostly perceived as having a leg in ice water all the time. I wear shoes and a compression sock on my left side except when sleeping. I am now certain it is permanent… My marriage has certainly had its ups and downs, but we are still together…so far.

My son had an car accident November 2018 and suffered a severe DAI TBI with multiple other injuries. He was in ICU for weeks, had ETV surgery which failed and then had a permanent shunt implanted to relieve the excess cerebral spinal fluid. It was tragic. He was in inpatient rehab for 5 weeks and then sent home. I felt completely incapable of caring for him but as a mom, you do what you can do, research everything possible and accept any help that is offered. It was hard, very hard but 20 months later...my son is working part time, taking a class at a community college and is able to care for his personal needs. There is hope. It may not seem like it but the brain is an amazing organ that is capable of healing, however very, very slowly. My son does not remember the accident or being in the hospital for 2 months. His memory has slowly returned but for about 6 months he did not remember even what he ate for breakfast. You can do this. It will challenge you like nothing ever has but you find the strength out of your love for him. Ask God for strength and for people to support you. You arenot in this alone.

No, i was in a level 3 acoma back in 1996 for 2 months. I got a severe t.b.i. and after I have two daughters. Ones in collage studying to be a nurse and doing very well. The other is doing very good with no assistance in school.

You are not alone I fell like I slip in and out of reality and it takes other people to help steer me and keep me on course. It requires a level of dependence on others that I never wanted. I’m a grown ?!* man and I should remember to eat, shower, and accomplish tasks. The adaptation required to live this new life is enough to drive a man insane. I hear you brother. Hang in there. You have less tools in your toolbox than you did before. But at least you have some tools. Learn to use the ones you do have. I set three alarms to accomplish every task that I need to get done. I never turn the alarm off until the task is accomplished. Keep it together. Focus on sleep and not drinking alcohol. Again you are not alone.

Hi Michael, I am sorry for your trauma and injury - non THC CBD Oil would really be of help to calm your nervous system. Prayers for you to feel God's presence and know his love - you sound like a survivor and I pray you hear God's voice and receive his strength to move ahead with victory of which you deserve!!!!