10 Things People with a Brain Injury Would Like to Hear...

My son has TBI from a four wheeler accident at the age of 14 yrs to look and talk to him he seems normal but if you know him and get to know him you can tell certain things about him. For instance he can be talked into doin anything the part of his brain that is hurt is the part that tells right from wrong he'll know it's wrong to do it but if someone is pressuring him or asking him to do something he will do it and not think about the consiquinces of getting caught. So his friends talked him into stealing a car and now the adrenaline rush he got from it is now causing him to continue stealing cars. He had a second accident a few months back that left him with a second TBI. He's twenty four years old now he can lead a normal life only he can't work due to all his bodily disabilities. He's broken almost every bone in his body crushed his legs I guess what I'm asking does anyone know of any counseling classes that I could get my son into for his addiction for stealing cars. He could live a normal life even if he can't work if he could get over the grand theft auto addiction. I do agree he needs punishment for his stealing but prison isn't the place he needs or anyone with brain injuries for that matter. If you know of any counseling I can get for him plz reply back to me I'm desperate I don't want to hover over my son but I don't want to lose him to prison for something he's doing due to medical issues.

I wish folks would say.
1. Anytime you want to call, just call, I'll be there to listen to you and hear you. Let me know how things are going
2. Let's go for a walk, we can chat
3. Don't ever feel like you're imposing when you ask for help, that's what I am here for. anytime.

I was involved in a hit and run on my moped brain bleed, broken skull, facial fractures, brain damage, dead brain tissue, I can't think of the other things but does anyone else wake up not knowing the day or anything then everything just comes rushing in and makes your head feel likes it's about to pop. Then other days you just wake up in a great mood and forget all about your injury and then those memory's from the incident all come in at once because I give myself going thru this always 2 or more times a month!

My boyfriend was in a bike accident and has suffered from traumatic brain injury. He doesn’t remember me , but does remember his family which is more important. I have been encouraging by sending him inspirational messages etc , calling him at the hospital and finally when he got released to go home I have stopped by to check on him. He doesn’t want to talk to me he has block me from social media , phone etc. I understand what he is going through is very difficult I just don’t know how to help him or be there for him. I feel helpless because I love him and don’t know how to help him.

My mum had a brain aneurysm and 2 strokes in January. Yesterday was the first time I had seen her since then and I had to fight back the tears. It was like she was far away. Her vision was bad so she was very frail and lost, I had to come really close to let her see me and then she touched my face and cried. She remembers bits and bobs, but she was talking about the past, about her days back in her home country . She would say things that happened years ago. She also would tell me to take her home or take her to the toilet (she can’t walk and has a diaper). My heart tore into two when we tried to feed her but she wouldn’t eat. She hasn’t eaten anything except from juice and water. She says it makes her feel sick. Yesterday I saw my mum, but I fear that wasn’t the mum I use to know.

Remember always, they may be strong and independent as possible, but they still struggle, especially when they are tired or stressed. Patience is the best approach.

We think you are ready to live independently.

I was in an accident on May 29, 2014. Every part of my body was broken especially my Brain which was hit twice. I was hospitalized for5 months. They put my Brain in a coma for 2 months I can’t teach anymore or live in my own house. I have had 6 seizures and now I have to take 30 pills a day I don’t want to live anymore. I want to Die I think a lot about suicide

Please help me. I’m a single parent caring for my adult adult daughter physically all by myself, and everything financial is coming from my son, and only other child who is the youngest of my 2 adult children. My daughter acquired a severe, DAI TBI and severe short term memory loss and memory secondary injuries related to and unrelated to the fatal car wreck. I hate starting by asking for help describing my daughter’s new deficiencies, but to hear others who are and have suffered brain injuries are able to say what is best said, and ask others not to say say certain things, which I believe is common sense, as I’m not medical, but have always spoke to my daughter with the positive /motivating suggestions include everything that’s listed, plus more. I’ve never degraded her ever.
I would love for my daughter to to give me the answers to any of these questions and be consistent with the answers or comments. There’s not any medical individual who is helping me with this. They are playing guessing games and at my daughters expense. They’ve messed with the medication regimen she was on without notice and that’s where everything negative as far as behavioral issues we’ve never dealt with cane to fruition. It can’t be a coincidence. My daughter was receiving incredible medical help when we live in GA , and for a myriad of reasons I elected to move us to Florida, and all for the benefit of my daughter to give her every opportunity to rehabilitate to the best of her ability. I researched everything I could possibly think of prior to moving to FL and mainly focused on the medical care she would continue to receive just like she was receiving in GA. Not only was I told she would receive this type of care, she would receive additional care, and the waiver programs available to my child exceeded what GA had to offer. But my daughter had to become a resident of FL before any of the above would take place. I was even told because of her medical needs she would literally be placed at the head of the waiver programs as the waiting list are long to get the additional benefits. They were based on the needs of the individuals not who has signed up first. All I could do is take everyone at their word, and didn’t have a second thought after all the research I did in a varied of states to live in where it stayed warm year round. As the weather had a huge impact which was affecting my daughter. Long story short, I relocated my daughter to FL, and established her as a resident immediately. The only thing the took place and was true, my daughter was put on the waiver program almost immediately. But God himself only knows what they do. Because I haven’t seen or received any benefits to help my child that I’m aware of. Her insurance company is denying everything she must have and is fixable. Which my daughter knows is holding her back. She’s wheelchair and bed bound and is transferred via a hoyer and a sling because of her right knee being crushed in the car wreck and was missed by the Neuro ICU and a very notorious rehab facility in Atlanta. We didn’t have a clue about this until it was accidentally caught on the images when my daughter was having a sedated CT to repair her right foot from the original surgery she had on it while induced in a propofol coma while in the Neuro ICU. It would give my child the opportunity to be mobile and with complete flexibility that we all have and would allow her to relearn to walk with a normal gait. This was while we lived in GA. Her right knee had fused itself and was now contorted 40 degrees and another Ortho surgeon came into the room with the Ortho surgeon who was going to repair my child’s right foot and explained the above to me and believed it would need to be completely replaced and my daughter would have the need to have this surgery prior to her foot surgery, as you can’t walk without your knees or big toe. Well my daughter has her big toes! I was upset with it being missed, but boy did it explain a lot of what had been happening up until I found out about her right knee had been crushed this entire time and what my child had accomplished be serious hard worK on her end that were guided by myself, and therapists literally everyday who cane to our home on a daily basis to include her pcp doing the same. We’ve been in FL for almost 2 years and was actually told by a RN who worked with the agency who was supposed to provide CNA and HHA services so I could work to help get the financial issues off of my son (which is a joke not just here, but in GA as well), This RN said,” we all say we provide these services, but it never really happens.” I was dumbfounded to say the least, and didn’t believe her. I reached out to so many different agencies and she was correct! I couldn’t believe it. There’s no way, one person could do everything these therapists did for my daughter while we lived in GA, especially since she isn’t receiving the required medical care and medications she was receiving as well, while living in GA. I’m completely worn out as I don’t have any physical help at home and by the end of the day I’m so exhausted they I go to bed when my daughter does, so when she wakes up in severe pain and the new night terrors she’s now having keep us up for several additional hours. I do what I use to do when my children were babies. You took a nap when they did, so you are alert and ready to go again when they woke up. However, my adult daughter doesn’t take naps. We lived in Brevard County, FL in the zip code 32903. If anyone knows of any resources that I can reach out to so I can get the help I need to help my daughter I would be grateful abd extremely appreciative. I know I can’t leave any personal Infomation on this comment section so I’m not sure how I’m going to receive any reply’s if anyone can provide me with the information I’m trying to obtain. I hate watching my daughter decline at the rapid pace she is, after all the hard work my child had previously done and with a crushed knee is all out the window and is getting worse everyday and has Jed the other issues that we’ve never incountered and I don’t know how to handle or take care of unless I research on the internet and it’s scary when you enlist information off the internet to medically care for your daughter who is depending on you for everything to ensure she survives. Not to mention my 4 grandchildren who are depending on me to do the same. Thanks for listening and FYI..... I haven’t touched the tip of the iceberg of everything my child as endured since this fatal car wreck. Once again, thanks, and I apologize for this information is presented as scattered as it is, but you don’t understand how everything is flooding my mind and I can’t keep it all straight, and my blood boiling at the same time, as I know what my child is capable of achieving with the proper medical care and treatments. Thanks, T

The loveliest thing said to me yesterday on the phone was
*It's like talking to the old Maria*. It made me very. Two years after my tbi

Actually, I find most of these statements to be the WORST things to say the tbi survivors. At large, they are belittling and treat the survivor as a child and/or invalid. (I am a tbi survivor - a pedestrian in a car crash 13 years ago.) I do like a few of the statements, like Melody's - good friends and loved ones should always learn more about the lasting effects of tbi (though not assume the effects are "one size fits all").

I know it is really hard for you now and I think you are doing a fantastic job.

You can take all the time you need too, we’re not in a rush. You did an amazing job!!

I cannot understand all you have experienced but I love you, support you, will comfort you and be there for you as I can. That's what I would like to hear more of!
Not all of this of what can you do for me? Why can't you do what you used too? Why aren't you the same anymore? Why must you not help me anymore?
Well excuse me apparently I wasted and misplaced the best of my good health on the wrong people - didn't I?
That's what it feels like when trying to explain to others who have no desire to comprehend. It is pointless to talk and speak to them and they simply do not deserve conversation. It works by accepting who one is and the limitations they have. Knowing the safe boundaries and letting others learn the hard way as their medical health evolves also. At least we learn. We accept. We cope. We thrive. We survive. We learn humanity. And sadly many never do until it also too late for them!

I think that having been so independent and bright, people forget that I may no longer be quite up to that level anymore. It would be so nice to know your accepted for who you are now, not who they remember you to be. You see, some of us with TBI may remember how we were and are reminded every second of the day that we are no longer that way and fight to accept that for ourselves and support would be so welcomed.