"Brain Injury Is ..." Brain Injury Defined By People Who Are Living With It

I lost the life that I loved and hate the one I now live. Warren

My injury occurred when I was 20 years old. Like trying to decide whether to sue or not, I decided to focus (excuse the pun) on recovery and a creating a positive future for myself. 25 years later, I have learnt to live with it. Those around me help me to 'ignore' it and I have had a high function type lifestyle, but at the cost of my confidence, hidden confusion and memory loss. Have other women noticed a direct link with premenstrual fluid build up ? Has anyone done any studies referencing TBI with the menstrual cycle ? After about 12 years (and children) the effects were lessened to the point that there was no futher relationship between TBI and the premenstrual cycle. Curious about others experiences. 

To me it's like being lost in my own head. I don't know where I"ve been and I don"t know where I'm going. It's like being caught in a swamp and I can't get out. A terrible depression comes with it.

Like looking in a mirror and seeing someone else.

It is like trying to walk straight through a strong tornado.

Brain injury is living a life that you do not even know, being replaced by a new you!

"Walking on eggs shells and not knowing what the current day or the next has to offer" Randy L Summers

Definitely feels like im a senior sometimes......but im only 20. Its embarassing because i am actually pretty intelligent. ;/

All I can think of is its like my life is an etch a sketch where I shake it and then I have a fresh start.  I feel lucky each new day because I know I am alive.  Do I wish it never happened ?  Of course I do but I'm realistic and this is my life now.  And the most important thing is I have life!  Its a journey each new day...

Frustrating not remembering even the greatest moments such as the birth of my daughter , starting a conversation and forget what I was talking about somewhere in it , maddening ringing like a gun fired next to my ear . Emotional wreck most of the time , fumbling & stumbling isn't funny , feels like I fell asleep in a rotating dryer , movements require intense concentration , angry alot . I don't look at pictures cause I really don't want to know how I used to be ....it hurts too much . But all in all I'm determined to do some things , it (tbi) took alot but I won't let it have it all. Hit in Feb.2012

I have been living with my brain injury since I was 6 years old when I was hit in the head by the batter and knocked unconscious .  At the age of 19 I fell off a forty foot cliff while fighting a fire in the California Conservation Corp.  When I finally landed in the hospital they said I had a TBI and Hydroencephalitis.  They gave me a VP Shunt to help drain off all the extra fluid on my brain.  Which helped with the headaches.  But it is not a permanent solution and has been repaired or replaced some 14 times.

Remembering who I used to be and not remembering me now.  Frustrated, angry, sad, confused.  More than anything deeply saddened that I don't remember my son growing up.  Thankful that family gave me a camera for pictures of him.  Truly angry that the person that did this to me only got a $100 ticket and I almost died!  So much that I don't remember.  Started writing a book about it but can't remember sequences of things.  Just so frustrating because I can't get the care I need!

VERY FRUSTRATING!!  I can't find words, they're like files all screwed up.  I remember through repetition but nobody's repeating just getting upset!  Had a hard time accepting the new me and letting go of the old me.  I fought hard to get my life back.  I'm now trying to find where I fit in with my limitations.  I'm afraid of the world.  Everyone expects me to be normal.  I don't feel normal whatever that is anymore.  No one relates to  the TBI. They don't relate problems with TBI. I tried working.  Put in 60 hr wks making up.  Burnt out. 

 Bobbie1988

Like being robbed of your identity and purpose in life but every single day you get up and try so hard to be even half of what you were....and Never getting there. 

A lifelong commitment of love, caring, support and patience for the loved child who was in a deep, dark coma for so long. Upon wakening, this child is not the same one who was in an accident, who was away for so long in a place that we will never understand. It is a lifelong commitment to God for returning this child to me regardless of the  changes that occured during this illness. A lifetime of understanding and nuturing. Guidance,  grief, acceptance and denial. Happiness, anger.  Wonder and hope.  He is with me and for that I thank God. He was my little boy, and now he is my wonderful young man.

I feel like I'm never going to be the same. I look in the mirror and I see me but, it's not me. I don't think the same. I don't feel the same. It is so hard just to get out of bed everyday. I use to love being around people and family. Now I cry when I'm in a crowd of people that are my family. But I feel like i don't  know them anymore. It's a sad and scary place. I would give anything to have my life back. I guess I need to start excepting that this is my new life. The stories i have been reading don't give me much hope that I will be returning to a life that I once knew.  PJM

Like my brain/mind is broken, placed in a wheelchair, no room to maneuver in my head, yet with no arms and legs to move it around to figure it out...and no one behind to help push.

Traumatic Brain Injury is the hardest struggle one can ever have! It puts us in a fight with ourselves, a fight that cannot be won!

Like trying to do everything knee deep in mud

Mine causes brain fog and memory loss. I get confused when too much is given me at a time. Sensory overload.

Living in a fog with a buzz. So lonely as people cant accept you are someone else. Standing on the sidelines of life wanting to be included but at the same time afraid of the crowds. Days the depression is so black and heavy that breathing is a chore.

Like playing golf... alone...with every shot going towards the sun and playing with a grass colored ball... It will be a tough and VERY long round with lots of people watching, waiting and annoyed at your slow pace!!!

it's like trying to climb Mount Everest with ice skates on WTF? How about when you feel like you should put yourself in a time out because of the ignorant comments or come back that you just said not purposely to people in your life?...these uncontrolabel moments are crazy!

Life is changed forever. A true test of character and determination to live life in slow motion. Feeling isolated from others, but getting to know myself and God better. It can be depressing at first, then you realize how glad you are to be alive and decide to live and enjoy the life you have, now. I'm still the same person, just slower. I can't take anything for granted. I have to work for my health and quality of life to be restored as much as possible. Walking and dancing make me feel alive. Eating healthy food and resting helps me stay calm and restores me from the stresses of each day. I know how to encourage others who are suffering. Life is still beautiful.

.....like mashed potatoes. 
.....like being in a constant fog.
.....frustrating; embarrassing; fatiguing...
.....did i already do that?
.....what was i going to do???
.....you mean, we went down this road/visited this place already?
.....what's your name again?
.....it's my turn to make dinner.....again????? (a week later)
.....trying to remember something you KNOW is in your head but have no way of pulling it out because you can't find it........
.....wanting all the noise to stop!!!!!
.....wanting the world to stop spinning....
.....wanting to sleep, just to sleep.....
.....wanting it to be the day BEFORE the accident, when life was "normal".....
.....working through your breaks/into your lunchtime/after hours because you were too slow during the day
.....having conversations with others who think that you're understanding but in your head it's really like the voice on the other end of the phone in a Charlie Brown cartoon