Please remember, we are not able to give medical or legal advice. If you have medical concerns, please consult your doctor. All posted comments are the views and opinions of the poster only.
Living with a TBI is like being thrown into a raging sea. Incessantly fighting with all your might to stay afloat. Every once in a while a calm comes, and you know the fight is worth fighting.
Like the mirror from Harry Potter, you see things in the reflection of perfection. Then you look down at yourself and realize that it will never happen for a multitude of reasons.
Somewhat like a tree. It begins with 1-leaf and then adds many more. One can look at this a negative or a new beginning. I see it as a new beginning with all that is composed of it.
Most of the time, I feel like I just got off twisty amusement park ride; my head never clears; it is always dizzy. Crowds, noises, and lights frustrate me.I never know when a headache will surface, which part of my head will hurt, how severe it will be, or how long it will last.People don't realize that thinking is sometimes exhausting, frustrating, and difficult at times. It is hard to plan ahead because I am never certain of how I will feel.
Like trying to climb a staircase but just as you reach a new level the staircase collapses. Constant dissappointment as you try to achieve things but end up with extreme brain fatigue for days, sometimes weeks, watching everyone around me out enjoying holidays and doing things in their busy lives like i used to do but knowing that I'll most likely never be able to do those things that most people take for granted, again. Its lonely. Lots of grief but also some amazing learning, Being good at Living in the NOW, Compassion for others, Knowing that Love is what lifes all about.
It's like I've been digging myself out of a grave since the day I woke up. I consciously watch thoughts leave my head as I'm saying them. I am still the same person trapped in this limited mind. I wish I knew how to get myself out of this mess. I wish I could fix my brain and heal the broken connections. At times I mourn the brain I uesd to have, but I also celebrate the person I am today who is conscious of it all and still finds the strength and courage to keep on keeping on. I will win this silent battle.
I did everything backwards from talking to brushing my hair had to relearn how to function again and did with the help of my MOM and DAD and both of my daughters. I also still have a hard time remembering things from the past. People, places, incidents, sometimes it is a blessing other times it is a hardship.
I have lost my job.I yell at people and frighten them and myself. I am ashamed of myself and don't leave the house much anymore.I have pain and think about it too much.I don't sleep without some dream or headache waking me up.I think about the same stuff over and over.I talk about the stuff over and over, An example of some of the things are people talking about me small things like did i raise the flag on the mail box.My inter voice talks out loud and i embarrass people. I am a outsider and the scary black sheep of the family.
For me it was as though I had gone through the ageing process within a day. I don't feel capable of doing what I used to be able to do... I am slower, I tire easily, I often mix words up or can't find the right word, I can't remember my past in detail, I forget names and dates and things that used to come to mind easily... And then it is definitely the case that you really don't feel like the same person anymore.
Sitting and trying to fight back the pain from the headaches and trying to remember what my wife asked me to do for the day. And trying not to loose my temper at those I love . TBI sucks big time but I've gotten used to the painful headaches that I've had for 9 years and only go to the E.R. when the pain stays at 10+ for over 3 days.
I feel you I deal with the same stuff except mine Injury happened by strangulation and beating by the head about 16 years ago I have two kids with the guy who changed my life forever and now he has taken them because I’m seen as aggressive and out of control if it wasn’t for my husband I wouldn’t be alive. Because the anger days and the rage days I hate myself for. The days I wake up hot as fuck and raging without control with abounding headache are the scary days. If you guys don’t already I recommend a high dose of cbd and thc it doesn’t take it away but I find it helps wit the pain more than anything. God bless you all and hope you find strength and courage when you need it.
A new day every day all day long. Confusion like my brain needs to be turned on every minute of eveeyday but I have no one button or reset button. Oh the pain just trying to think hurts so much like a bad joke. Having a good loving and caring support system is so helpful since I cannot remember how to drive or take care of myself at age 36
Mourning who you were and accepting who you are now. Relearning things you use to know, and trying to remember things you should never forget. TBI means writting everything down and having constant fatigue and migraines. It's also about... learning to sneeze without feeling like you're're blowing your brains out ;) Most importantly TBI is about counting our blessings and surrounding ourselves with people who understand and can appreciate our unique situations. PEACE & LOVE ~KAR
To me it is knowing what I was, fighting to get it back, losing more of who I was, and then finally trying to forgot my past achievements and instead focus on who I can now become. It is extremely frustrating some days, and then other days I have small windows of time in which I see all the ways that I have been blessed through my injury. It's an emotional rollercoaster and I'm still waiting to see where it goes.
as if all the things on the desk get swept off, about every 10 minutes.... or another way to see it: its as if the 'computer's' hard drive overloads and shuts down for a while, like the old window 3.1 if more than one item tries to open at once.... thanks! it just means learning a new way to do just about everything...
My twist on it would be: I am carrying a puzzle box. All the pieces are in there. I trip and the puzzle box goes flying. The pieces scatter. Others come running to help me pick up the puzzle pieces, but we can't find all of them. Most of them, but not all. The puzzle can still be put together more or less intact. The whole puzzle picture is still readily recognizable, but some pieces 'are' missing. It's difficult trying to describe what the few missing pieces mean, to the overall outcome. It's just difficult and there are no - comparators.
Like dumping over a giant file cabinet, full of the "files of your life" & then spending the REST of your life trying to put everything back where it was... (sometimes only half ass... cuz that's THE BEST you can do/hope for.)
Like having handcuffs on you brain. Keeps you restricted in your thoughts most times. When you do have a thought or something to say....by the time you try to get it out...the thought is either gone or changed all together. Very frustrating..
I resonate with every one of these statements. But I removed myself as much as possible from the life I had chose to create my own little world that embraced me for the person I became. My new community had no expectations of me to 'get back to normal'.
I love the internet because I get to choose who I interact with. *This is one of my favorite sites.
Mine too. Sending you love in spirit. I look at everyday as a hidden gift I have two kids I still see everyday and haven’t lost their mama yet they still see us for us and love us that’s why it’s worth the struggle and hidden pain
I asked my son this question in order to post of his behalf, his words "I don't know"
Meaning he is not aware that he has Anoxia brain Injury- And that his/our life has forever changed. Its been 11 months now since he was hung, spent the first month in a brain recovery center, 7 months of PT/OT and now its him and I for the long hall. I want him to understand, but yet I don't, he is happier today than he was before all of this. K.B.
The medical field has helped by saying, "It is, what it is."
Jimmy Stewart puts Life into perspective as Harvey quotes, "In this world you must be oh so Smart or oh so Pleasant. Well, for years I was Smart. I recommend Pleasant. You can quote me."
It hurts and causes problems to hold on to your past self. Consider yourself, with all the brain fog, shakes, and aphasia as the New Normal.
I lost the majority of my vision with my TBI almost two years ago. I only have hand motion now, but though that should have been something good, I also experience hallucinations. My world is bright, colorful and so confusing it hurts. I don't know what is real and what isn't and somewhere I lost myself on the outside along with everything else..
Invisible. That's how I feel. People who used to listen and hang with you suddenly act like you're invisible. Lonely is another one. Mostly totally confused all the time. Like you're in the middle of an ocean trying not to drown and everyone else around doesn't even realize you're there and that you're in need of help.
Comments (502)
Please remember, we are not able to give medical or legal advice. If you have medical concerns, please consult your doctor. All posted comments are the views and opinions of the poster only.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Living with a TBI is like being thrown into a raging sea. Incessantly fighting with all your might to stay afloat. Every once in a while a calm comes, and you know the fight is worth fighting.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Like the mirror from Harry Potter, you see things in the reflection of perfection. Then you look down at yourself and realize that it will never happen for a multitude of reasons.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Worry about changes. Are they just getting older, or related to the TBI
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Somewhat like a tree. It begins with 1-leaf and then adds many more. One can look at this a negative or a new beginning. I see it as a new beginning with all that is composed of it.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Most of the time, I feel like I just got off twisty amusement park ride; my head never clears; it is always dizzy. Crowds, noises, and lights frustrate me.I never know when a headache will surface, which part of my head will hurt, how severe it will be, or how long it will last.People don't realize that thinking is sometimes exhausting, frustrating, and difficult at times. It is hard to plan ahead because I am never certain of how I will feel.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Like trying to climb a staircase but just as you reach a new level the staircase collapses. Constant dissappointment as you try to achieve things but end up with extreme brain fatigue for days, sometimes weeks, watching everyone around me out enjoying holidays and doing things in their busy lives like i used to do but knowing that I'll most likely never be able to do those things that most people take for granted, again. Its lonely. Lots of grief but also some amazing learning, Being good at Living in the NOW, Compassion for others, Knowing that Love is what lifes all about.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
It's like I've been digging myself out of a grave since the day I woke up. I consciously watch thoughts leave my head as I'm saying them. I am still the same person trapped in this limited mind. I wish I knew how to get myself out of this mess. I wish I could fix my brain and heal the broken connections. At times I mourn the brain I uesd to have, but I also celebrate the person I am today who is conscious of it all and still finds the strength and courage to keep on keeping on. I will win this silent battle.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
I did everything backwards from talking to brushing my hair had to relearn how to function again and did with the help of my MOM and DAD and both of my daughters. I also still have a hard time remembering things from the past. People, places, incidents, sometimes it is a blessing other times it is a hardship.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Life altering...
Anonymous replied on Permalink
I have lost my job.I yell at people and frighten them and myself. I am ashamed of myself and don't leave the house much anymore.I have pain and think about it too much.I don't sleep without some dream or headache waking me up.I think about the same stuff over and over.I talk about the stuff over and over, An example of some of the things are people talking about me small things like did i raise the flag on the mail box.My inter voice talks out loud and i embarrass people. I am a outsider and the scary black sheep of the family.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
For me it was as though I had gone through the ageing process within a day. I don't feel capable of doing what I used to be able to do... I am slower, I tire easily, I often mix words up or can't find the right word, I can't remember my past in detail, I forget names and dates and things that used to come to mind easily... And then it is definitely the case that you really don't feel like the same person anymore.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Sitting and trying to fight back the pain from the headaches and trying to remember what my wife asked me to do for the day. And trying not to loose my temper at those I love . TBI sucks big time but I've gotten used to the painful headaches that I've had for 9 years and only go to the E.R. when the pain stays at 10+ for over 3 days.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
I feel you I deal with the same stuff except mine Injury happened by strangulation and beating by the head about 16 years ago I have two kids with the guy who changed my life forever and now he has taken them because I’m seen as aggressive and out of control if it wasn’t for my husband I wouldn’t be alive. Because the anger days and the rage days I hate myself for. The days I wake up hot as fuck and raging without control with abounding headache are the scary days. If you guys don’t already I recommend a high dose of cbd and thc it doesn’t take it away but I find it helps wit the pain more than anything. God bless you all and hope you find strength and courage when you need it.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Getting up every morning and thinking "here we go again!"
Anonymous replied on Permalink
A new day every day all day long. Confusion like my brain needs to be turned on every minute of eveeyday but I have no one button or reset button. Oh the pain just trying to think hurts so much like a bad joke. Having a good loving and caring support system is so helpful since I cannot remember how to drive or take care of myself at age 36
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Mourning who you were and accepting who you are now. Relearning things you use to know, and trying to remember things you should never forget. TBI means writting everything down and having constant fatigue and migraines. It's also about... learning to sneeze without feeling like you're're blowing your brains out ;) Most importantly TBI is about counting our blessings and surrounding ourselves with people who understand and can appreciate our unique situations. PEACE & LOVE ~KAR
Anonymous replied on Permalink
To me it is knowing what I was, fighting to get it back, losing more of who I was, and then finally trying to forgot my past achievements and instead focus on who I can now become. It is extremely frustrating some days, and then other days I have small windows of time in which I see all the ways that I have been blessed through my injury. It's an emotional rollercoaster and I'm still waiting to see where it goes.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
TBI = Life will never be the same...and it does not get any better !
TBI the INVISIBLE injury
Anonymous replied on Permalink
as if all the things on the desk get swept off, about every 10 minutes.... or another way to see it: its as if the 'computer's' hard drive overloads and shuts down for a while, like the old window 3.1 if more than one item tries to open at once.... thanks! it just means learning a new way to do just about everything...
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Like a Tornado or Cyclone of Emotions then don't remember what was said or did an wonder why Folks getting upset
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Like I forgot to do my homework and can't remember how to get home!
Anonymous replied on Permalink
I liked the analogy of the puzzle.
My twist on it would be: I am carrying a puzzle box. All the pieces are in there. I trip and the puzzle box goes flying. The pieces scatter. Others come running to help me pick up the puzzle pieces, but we can't find all of them. Most of them, but not all. The puzzle can still be put together more or less intact. The whole puzzle picture is still readily recognizable, but some pieces 'are' missing. It's difficult trying to describe what the few missing pieces mean, to the overall outcome. It's just difficult and there are no - comparators.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Playing hide and seek with most things like; memory, your past, your present, balance, expressing yourself correctly, being coherent...
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Trying to dance in a room filled to the ceiling with thick jelly.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
A ride you cannot get off.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
No taste or smell to trigger any lost memories.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Or smelling and tasting things not there
Anonymous replied on Permalink
never having an easy day again.Make the challenges enjoyable. They are not going away.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
When I pull my car out of driveway and into the road but I don't remember where I'm going.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Like dumping over a giant file cabinet, full of the "files of your life" & then spending the REST of your life trying to put everything back where it was... (sometimes only half ass... cuz that's THE BEST you can do/hope for.)
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Like having handcuffs on you brain. Keeps you restricted in your thoughts most times. When you do have a thought or something to say....by the time you try to get it out...the thought is either gone or changed all together. Very frustrating..
Anonymous replied on Permalink
I resonate with every one of these statements. But I removed myself as much as possible from the life I had chose to create my own little world that embraced me for the person I became. My new community had no expectations of me to 'get back to normal'.
I love the internet because I get to choose who I interact with. *This is one of my favorite sites.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Mine too. Sending you love in spirit. I look at everyday as a hidden gift I have two kids I still see everyday and haven’t lost their mama yet they still see us for us and love us that’s why it’s worth the struggle and hidden pain
Anonymous replied on Permalink
My Filing system is completely out of whack!
Anonymous replied on Permalink
like being betrayed again and again.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
TBI may cause memory loss but the one thing that never goes away is how it happened.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
A long and strange journey that doesn't seem to have an finish line.
Richard
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Like reading a book and none of the sentences are finished.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
I asked my son this question in order to post of his behalf, his words "I don't know"
Meaning he is not aware that he has Anoxia brain Injury- And that his/our life has forever changed. Its been 11 months now since he was hung, spent the first month in a brain recovery center, 7 months of PT/OT and now its him and I for the long hall. I want him to understand, but yet I don't, he is happier today than he was before all of this. K.B.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Visual issues & headache daily make you long for the old you which now gone. Frustrating!!
Anonymous replied on Permalink
My thoughts used to run like lightning now it feels like my thoughts are running through oatmeal!!!
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Like everything has been reset
Anonymous replied on Permalink
The medical field has helped by saying, "It is, what it is."
Jimmy Stewart puts Life into perspective as Harvey quotes, "In this world you must be oh so Smart or oh so Pleasant. Well, for years I was Smart. I recommend Pleasant. You can quote me."
It hurts and causes problems to hold on to your past self. Consider yourself, with all the brain fog, shakes, and aphasia as the New Normal.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Is isolating... lonely, scary, clumsy, and amateurish. ~Tawana
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Sad... because tomorrow I will not be able to recall one if these comments unless I write one down.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
I lost the majority of my vision with my TBI almost two years ago. I only have hand motion now, but though that should have been something good, I also experience hallucinations. My world is bright, colorful and so confusing it hurts. I don't know what is real and what isn't and somewhere I lost myself on the outside along with everything else..
Anonymous replied on Permalink
missing what you once were able to do.
-Adeeb
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Invisible. That's how I feel. People who used to listen and hang with you suddenly act like you're invisible. Lonely is another one. Mostly totally confused all the time. Like you're in the middle of an ocean trying not to drown and everyone else around doesn't even realize you're there and that you're in need of help.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Constantly feeling disconnected/lonely & chronic mental fatigue.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
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