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What People Should Know About Pregnancy-Loss and PTSD: One Woman’s Story About Losing Her Son at 16 Weeks and Almost Losing Her Own Life on the Same Day

Jack Jones’s urn and memorial with prints of his left foot and left hand

“During pregnancy, a mother celebrates the journey with family and friends — think baby names, baby showers, nurseries, tiny clothes … smiles from strangers and proud hands on an ever-expanding belly. The journey of being pregnant is both personal and public. So, what should be one of the most magical experiences shared with family, friends, and colleagues becomes one of private emotional and physical trauma in a closed room, an experience that is then often not acknowledged nor spoken about. The mother returns home still looking pregnant, her hormones still acting as if she is pregnant, but her arms and heart are empty.”

Suicide Is Not a Bad Word … Don’t Be Afraid to Talk About Suicidal Ideation

A yard sign reading "Your Life Matters" with a teal and purple Suicide Prevention ribbon

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. If you are military-connected then you know the 22-veterans-a-day average. You’ve seen the blue ribbons plastered everywhere on base/post. If you are a veteran or caregiver, you’ve seen similar posters at the VA. You’ve probably gone to an annual suicide prevention training or two. You know the signs, you know what to look for and what to do if you are worried about someone’s safety. But nothing can truly prepare you for when it happens.

Lost and Found

Steven crouches by Aaron's white memorial cross in the woods by two wooden deer sculptures

Over the last 10 years ago, since my sons, Aaron and Steven, were involved in a fatal car accident, in which Aaron did not survive and Steven  sustained a severe TBI, my life has resembled a lost-and-found bin, filled to the top, running over with more emotions than I could ever imagine sorting through. 

Why I Chose Not To Listen

David gives a thumbs up while tandem sky-diving with an instructor in a clear blue sky

Last month, Sarah and I took a trip to rural Maine for another first-time life experience. I was more excited than fearful when I jumped out of a plane at 14,000 feet and I can now add skydiver to my life résumé! Had I listened to the advice I received from doctors a decade earlier, the thought of jumping out of a plane would have seemed preposterous.

The Science and History Behind Meditation and Mindfulness, Especially as It Relates to Mental Health

Silhouette of someone meditating over a Positron Emission Topography (PET) scan of a brain in bright

While in the throes of dealing with symptoms from PTSD, my counselor suggested mindfulness and meditation, which I initially thought was a bunch of snake oil … something for hippies, monks, and weirdos. But then I started to learn about the science — and even a little history — and everything began to change; I literally started to breathe again.

Healing from PTSD – Enter: Vulnerability and Courage

Soldier at sunset with text: Vulnerability is our greatest measure of courage — Brené Brown

One lesson I have learned since I started meditating is the connection between courage and vulnerability. Yes, vulnerability. I know, it sounds like the antithesis of everything related to being a SEAL, but I have come to understand that while vulnerability and courage aren’t necessarily the same thing, it takes courage to show vulnerability and, in turn, as you show more vulnerability, you actually become more courageous.

Heroes Also Need Heroes – Robbed of a Chance at Combat, Marine Joins Another Fight

Sherman Gillums Jr. speaking into a podium microphone

​​I believed in heroes growing up, even though I saw very few, if any, up close. Heroes existed in comic books and television shows, or in the real lives of others. Not in my life. I saw the world as one big jungle where survival meant hoping the lion would spare me and those I loved, rather than having the strength to resist being eaten. The only way to stop any abuse I saw as a kid was to run from it. Cry about it. Then try to forget it. No heroes. Just a desire to be one every time I left my home, even as I often felt powerless to make life safer for my mom and younger siblings.

Helping to Heal from PTSD by Reframing My Story and Removing the Mask of Masculinity

Young soldier holding a mask of a strong face while crying and holding his weapon

When you’re a man in society — not to mention a Navy SEAL in special operations — you are taught that the best (only) option is to be the strong, silent type. You can’t let your emotions control you. You can’t be sad, or too happy. Really, the only acceptable emotions for the masculine persona are stoicism and anger.

Self-Care Through Singing: Trauma, Resilience, and Representation in Musicals

Stacey Shade-Ware smiles at the camera with music stands, a microphone, and others in the background

I will admit when I first watched Encanto I was not terribly impressed, though the songs in Miranda’s signature style are quite catchy. I have two little girls, 3 and 5, and for those of you with children or grandchildren, you know that they must watch something like Encanto again and again and again. So, suffice it to say, I had the opportunity to really listen and pay attention to the story more than once.